do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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