PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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