You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
