u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
