Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
