Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.