her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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