i permit you to call me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
