so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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