forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
