It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
