On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
