You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
