dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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