im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
