Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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