guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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