No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there was a trapeze. enough said
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
