I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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