I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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