Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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