Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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