Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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