Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Randomize
