That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
wow bdsm is so cute
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
