Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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