It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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