omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
