It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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