I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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