I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
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Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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