bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
