RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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