Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
