BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
