If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
