belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
