Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
