i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think I sprained my soul last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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