I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
