i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
