You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
