the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Someone signed my nipple.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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