Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize