We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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