I want to walk on stilts...naked
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
