How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
