Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
