Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
