Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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