Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
