I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
