Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
