update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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