That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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