omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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