Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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