So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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