Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
