I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
