just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
