I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
